


i want to hold your hand

by DoubleDoubleToilAndTrouble



Category: RWBY
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Mild Language, OzQrow secret santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:54:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21930058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoubleDoubleToilAndTrouble/pseuds/DoubleDoubleToilAndTrouble
Summary: In which Qrow and Oz go on a fake date and Qrow suffers.For Ozqrow Secret Santa 2019
Relationships: Qrow Branwen/Ozpin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	i want to hold your hand

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MorteLise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorteLise/gifts).



> Prompt was "Undercover as a couple, canon-verse preferred but not required". I won't deny that my first thought upon reading this "undercover as a couple of crows" and had a really excellent crack fic idea for that. However, I did manage to reign myself in and compose something a bit more serious. 
> 
> I hope this fic is enjoyable. 
> 
> This also took forever for me to post because I've spent several hours attempting to come up with a title. I finally gave up and went with The Beatles.

To be honest, this was not how Qrow was expecting his day to go.

Well, this wasn’t what he’d been expecting his week to be like either. If you’d asked him the previous week what he’d be doing for the next week he would have said visiting Tai and his nieces at Patch, not going to meet with Lionheart in Mistral and then pretending to be on a date with his former headmaster.

Especially the part where said former headmaster was wearing a spectacularly curly black wig and ridiculous fake facial hair.

To be fair, Qrow’s wig and fake facial hair were also pretty bad.

And honestly it wasn’t the itchy wig or bad facial hair than made him want to go and make Leo acquainted with his scythe, it was the fact that Qrow was on an undercover fake date with the man that he’d been pinning for for the last few years.

And really, it was unfair that Qrow still managed to find Ozpin attractive in his bad disguise.

Very unfair.

It was also very unfair that Oz managed to look so proper when he was drinking hot chocolate, with marshmallows, of all drinks.

“How’s your cake?” Ozpin asked while attempting cut a piece of his own turnover with the dull side of his fork.

And that was how this date had been going so far. Small talk to make it seem like they were on their first or second date.

After all, when you were attempting to spy on an information exchange between two suspected associates of Salem, couples were automatically far less suspicious than lone men drinking coffee and reading a book in the corner of a café.

Or, at least, that had been Leo’s excuse for asking them to do, what was turning out to be, a very stressful task for Qrow.

Qrow would have much rather done the spying in his usual manner. But, unfortunately, an actual crow in the café would have not been inconspicuous.

He still had attempted to convince Ozpin and Leo to let him do his usual method. They had both refused, which really was quite unfortunate.

“It’s good,” Qrow replied, giving a quick glance at the fancily frosted pastry on his plate. It was certainly more edible than the last cake he’d had. When eating that cake, he’d almost choked on eggshell that had been in his slice. It probably hadn’t been a good idea to leave Ruby in charge of cracking the eggs.

“Do you mind if I try a piece?” Ozpin pointed his fork in the direction of Qrow’s cake slice. “I went for the apple turnover to avoid consuming only chocolate, but I must admit that the chocolate cake does look rather tempting.”

Qrow inched his plate forward. “Go ahead.”

“Thanks.” And Qrow really hated how the look of pure bliss on Ozpin’s face as he appreciated the bite of cake did things to his heart. “Would you like to try some of my turnover?”

“Ah, sure.” _Real smooth Qrow, real smooth_ , he chided himself as he separated a piece of the turnover. He would really appreciate it if their second target would hurry up and enter the café.

“Favorite color?”

“Red. Yours?”

“Green. Favorite food? Mine’s chocolate.”

“Peppers.” Qrow wasn’t exactly sure why he answered peppers. He didn’t exactly have an opinion on peppers. Then again, he and Oz already knew the answers to each other’s questions.

“Favorite story? I’m rather fond of the fairy tale of the Four Maidens.” 

Now Qrow really wanted to facepalm. If Salem really wanted to take over the world, she didn’t need Grimm or relics, all she needed to do was inflict unending small talk upon the population. Much more painful. “The Man with Two Souls.”

“Oh, I don’t know if you remember, but last time I mentioned that I’m new to Mistral, so what do you recommend in the area?”

_Oh fuck you, Oz_. Thanks for transitioning to a topic that would actually have him think. “Well I’ll admit that I’m rather fond of this tavern over on 3rd and Pine.”

“So, besides drinking, do you have any other hobbies?” Ouch Oz, he was only drunk 75% of the time.

“Yeah, I knit.”

Now Qrow knew that Ozpin knew very well that Qrow did in fact not know how to knit, nor knew anything about knitting at all. But did that stop Ozpin from going deep into the intricacies and different styles of knitting? No.

Was Qrow destined to be stuck in small talk conversations about things he knew nothing about? Yes.

And really, the staggering amount that Oz seemed to know about knitting shouldn’t be as surprising as it was to Qrow. With all the incarnations that Ozpin had had, it did make sense that he picked up knitting at some point.

The chime of the café’s bell was perhaps the sweetest sound that Qrow had ever heard. And Qrow was also fairly certain that he’d never been so happy to see the face of an enemy before.

Due to the positioning of their table, Ozpin’s back was to the door. In an attempt to alert Ozpin to the entrance of their second target, Qrow reached out and grabbed Ozpin’s hand.

To his relief, Ozpin took the sudden handholding in stride, seeming to realize that the situation had changed.

Besides, handholding was a thing that couples did. And nobody wanted to pay attention to couples being affectionate in public. Salem’s minions surely would not suspect them of being spies.

And that was the only reason that Qrow was currently softly holding Ozpin’s hand. It was all about maintaining cover. The soft smile on Oz’s face had nothing to do with it, even as he let his eyes stray to where the meeting was now taking place.

Qrow’s feelings about Ozpin had nothing to do with it. Absolutely nothing.

And he definitely didn’t have a sappy smile on his own face.

Although he really wouldn’t mind for another situation to arise in the future that required him to hold Ozpin’s hand.


End file.
